I’ve been in Ally’s Writing Bar and Masterclass for how to write a memoir for over a year now. Last year I went through the process of identifying my ideal reader avatar for my book. Being a business owner, I understand the importance behind identifying your ideal client and how to approach it. Essentially, it is a written description of your ideal reader. This is how I came up with my ideal reader avatar.
Age and Identity
The book I am working on is about my first marriage, separation, divorce and custody battle for my two daughters. My ex-husband was abusive and the majority of domestic abuse victims are female, and being a woman myself and writing about my personal experience, it made sense for the avatar to be a woman.
I’m in my early 50’s now, but when the abuse started I was only 18. Women between the ages of 18 and 24 are the most common to suffer from intimate partner abuse, so I decided that she would be in that age range.
Naming My Reader Avatar
As I was thinking of what name to give my avatar; whether to name her after a particular person or pick a name out of a hat, the name Megan came up and it felt right. Being a rabbit-hole goer-downer, I researched the meaning of the name and discovered Megan is a diminutive of Margaret, which is from the Greek 'margarites' meaning 'pearl.' The Greek roots of the name can also mean 'great' and 'mighty.'
This really resonated with me because the making of a pearl takes time (six months to several years, depending) and is a natural defense against an irritant entering their shell. The oyster or mussel slowly secretes layers of the same materials that make up its shell. It is an excellent metaphor for the pearls that come out of these damaging relationships. I decided that Megan was also smart, pretty, with a happy nature about her, and a wicked sense of humor (kinda like me).
So, here we have Megan, in her early 20’s, a successful six-figure entrepreneur. Daughter of her (outwardly) happily married parents, with two siblings (she’s the youngest), college drop-out (to run her multi-six-figure boutique advertising agency), loving momma to her toddler and freshly separated from her high school sweetheart (and her daughter’s father). She loves to travel, hike, read, and eat out. She lives in the midwest with her daughter and their cat named Ms. Kitty.
Fears, Desires, Motivation
Those are the basics, but I’d like to think I know her better than most. For instance, what is Megan afraid of? She’s afraid of being judged for not being in a relationship, worse—divorced (gasp!)—and being a single mom. She’s also afraid she will never be happy again.
What keeps her up at night (other than her daughter)? Most of what keeps her up at night is fear; fear that her abuser will victimize her again, in her own home, in front of her daughter, and fear for her daughter’s safety.
What is her secret desire, one she hasn’t even told her therapist (yet)? That she will never NOT be afraid. That she isn’t lovable. There are a lot more than that, but it boils down to these two.
Here is an easier one: what keeps her going each and every day–no matter what? Her daughter. The hope she has for her future, a better future, of when they will be free of fear and together every day. That is why she won’t give up.
Yes, my ideal reader avatar is much like I used to be as a young mother, but she is also more. She is a human being, marginalized, but not alone. She is going through a really tough season of her life and just needs to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. And there is. I promise you.
Angelic Lovestrong started working when she was 16. She’s worked in restaurants, a big city PR Firm, web design, human resources, quality control, major fundraising, and opened and closed her own retail brick and mortar. No matter the industry, she’s been creating solid infrastructure for businesses since 1991. In 2019 she decided, “No more working for others, making everyone else awesome. It’s time for me and what I am called to do.” She’s created a business allowing her the power and freedom to choose who to serve and how.
Lady Powerhouse Solutions supports women-powered initiatives who honor a calling and act with purpose to achieve their vision. She enjoys reading, listening to podcasts, and being a podcast guest. Her latest venture is a podcast collaboration with a fellow fempreneur where they chat with guests about their entrepreneurial journey, challenges, and lessons learned.
Angelic loves doing daily affirmations and has written her own personal daily affirmation card deck. Get the downloadable pdf for free on her website at https://www.ladypowerhouse.com/.