{"id":38864,"date":"2026-08-31T16:22:48","date_gmt":"2026-08-31T16:22:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thewriteplacerighttime.com\/?p=38864"},"modified":"2026-08-31T16:24:44","modified_gmt":"2026-08-31T16:24:44","slug":"3-reasons-why-first-time-memorists-tend-to-tell-not-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thewriteplacerighttime.com\/index.php\/2026\/08\/31\/3-reasons-why-first-time-memorists-tend-to-tell-not-show\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Reasons Why First-Time Memorists Tend To Tell, Not Show"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you’ve been in the writing sphere, you’ve heard these three words thousands of times-Show, don’t tell.<\/i> However, you might not realize just how complex this little phrase can be.<\/p>\n

If you haven’t heard the phrase before, showing <\/i>in the writing world means involving the reader’s senses. Let them see, experience, and feel what happened. That’s what separates exposition (aka: when you tell what is happening to ‘set the story’) from crafting a scene. <\/p>\n

Now, let’s apply this idea of “Show, don’t tell” to your memoir. Say you’re writing about a pivotal moment, and when you recall it, you can easily relay exactly what happened. Such as: <\/p>\n\n

This would be the writer telling the reader what happened exactly as the writer recalls it. There is room for telling within a memoir, but more often than not, the writer needs to do more. <\/p>\n

Instead, try involving the readers’ senses, and bring them along with you as the story unfolds-as if it’s happening right now:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A memoirist needs to learn how to balance retelling with showing and <\/i>with meaningful discussion of why the moments they’re sharing actually matter and why they’re important to the story and to the reader. To do this on the page, you must ask yourself, “Have I done the work of thinking about these events on a deeper level? Can I put into words and explain why <\/i>what happened was important to me? Then, can I write it in a way that a reader feels as though they’re a part of the moment?<\/p>\n

If you haven’t thought to ask yourself these questions-that’s okay. Most first-time memoirists wouldn’t know to ask themselves these things. And most first-time memoirists are more comfortable staying on the surface level of their story, which makes sense. Let’s talk about why this is and how to move beyond it.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\"Prepare\"\n

\n\t\t1. You Haven’t Narrowed Down the Message\n\t<\/h1>\n\t

Oftentimes, first-time memoir writers feel the urge to narrate everything that has ever happened in their lives. For example, maybe you had a pet death that affected you when you were young, and lost a parent when you were older, and also got into a car accident as a teen. All of these events can be important to you, but when you begin to narrow the focus of your memoir, these events might not be linked together. <\/p>\n\n

Find the memories that specifically connect to each other (with a common theme), and then begin writing your scenes surrounding them. Later, if you find how pieces of your earlier or later life can connect to the main story, then<\/i> you can add those in.<\/p>\n

Prior to putting pen to paper, you need to understand why these experiences matter to you. Once you’ve identified a couple of pivotal moments, figure out what they have taught you. Once you find the lesson(s), start brainstorming how that lesson connects to other events.<\/p>\n\n

Consider asking yourself questions such as:<\/p>\n